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How to Say Sorry Apologize to Your Wife Husband

Knowing how to say sorry to your husband or wife is an essential skill to have for your marriage and life.

If you have ever had a fight, broken a promise, or hurt your spouse’s feelings, learning how to say sorry to your spouse is a must.

During our first year of marriage, we viewed saying sorry or apologizing to each other differently than we do now.

Neither one of us was willing to say sorry. Which made things worse, and showed how selfish we were. ūüôĀ

You probably have experienced it too

In marriage, you very likely will have a fight or heated argument with your spouse. You will feel awful and sometimes be wrong.

But you have to accept your mistakes.

If you are wondering about whether to say sorry or not, you have to say it.

Becuase you don’t have to be the one in the wrong to apologize.

Sometimes there is no right and wrong

But simply a difference of opinion

Saying sorry was admitting I was the one in the wrong and took a hit at my pride while expecting an apology back.

When I didn’t get one, it made me angry because I felt we should both apologize and move on.

Now, saying sorry is part of our marriage, in a different way, and is probably said more frequently with all the added stress and hormones from my pregnancy. 

It’s not as hard to say anymore because I’m looking at just myself and not expecting anything back.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you” and “I’m sorry I should have been more patient” are typically what I apologize for.

For me, it’s a verbal recognition that I messed up, but I know Marcus¬†doesn’t deserve to be spoken to or treated that way so I will try better next time.

And you know what? He apologizes and says sorry more frequently too. – Ashley

Saying sorry gets easier once you truly understand what it means

To you and your spouse.

Isn’t it nice to hear that your spouse recognizes that he/she¬†made a mistake? And that he/she¬†will try to be better next time?

You want to treat your spouse the way you want to be treated, and this is one way to encourage that.

We are all imperfect humans and we will make a mistake here or there.

So it’s important that when you make these mistakes you own them. And grow from them; making an effort to become better next time.

It shouldn’t be a battle of pride!

As husband or wife, you have to put your pride aside to become one, selfless, and grow together with your spouse.

7 Steps to saying sorry to your wife or husband

1. Admit you are wrong!

This step is the most important one of all. You see, until you accept and admit that you are wrong, your apology will not be sincere, meaningful, and genuine.

Becuase it will come across in your facial expression and attitude. So learn how to accept your mistakes.

2. Admit that you have hurt your spouse’s emotions.

We all feel hurt when the person we love does something wrong.

So keep this thought in mind too.

3. Let you spouse know how sorry you are.

It must be an honest and sincere; not something you say to please your spouse.

A sincere apology will help build trust and strengthen intimacy in your marriage.

4. Be humble and ask your spouse to forgive you.

The best way to say sorry to your husband or wife is in person, face to face.

So try not to write it. Even if you prefer writing an apology letter to your spouse.

If you can’t verbalize it, what is preventing you? You can learn¬†how to communicate with your spouse without fighting today.

5. Forgive yourself.

Sometimes the pain you caused is so hard you will find it difficult to forgive yourself.

But doing so will improve your self-esteem.

6. Create an action plan.

Show and tell your spouse what you are going to do to prevent this mistake again.

Come up with a plan of action or list of things you will do so this mistake does not happen again.

7. Practice your action plan.

Action speaks louder than words. So put your words into action. Commit to not repeating the same mistake or problem again.

Put in the effort to make up for your mistakes, change, and become a better person. Your spouse will love to see your progress.

In addition, it’s an unusual romantic way to reconnect with each other¬†after a fight or argument.

Saying sorry is just the first step

When you tell your spouse you are sorry for something, it doesn’t make everything okay.

It simply means you acknowledge that something isn’t right.¬†And you have to follow it with an effort to do better next time.

You might repeat the same mistake(s) again, but ask yourself:

¬Ľ¬†Why am I hurting myself, and my spouse?

¬Ľ¬†Why can’t I stop doing this mistake?

¬Ľ¬†How can my wife or husband help me to stop repeating this same mistake(s).

¬Ľ¬†Do I need external help?

Asking yourself questions like these would help you to become better, and not repeat the same mistakes.

Your spouse also feels the pain

In the early years of our marriage, I spent money we had not agreed upon. I invested it in buying an item I thought I was going to resell FAST to make a quick profit but did not happen.

Then the time came for us to use that money for something else and I had not sold the item yet.

Ashley asked me why I did not let her know, even though I had good intentions for investing the money. She was emotionally hurt and felt betrayed. It was an awful feeling for me, talk about financial infidelity!  

And that could have ended our marriage but we worked through it.

What really helped us get through this pain I had caused was sitting down with Ashley, and explaining to her why I invested the money on that item.

I also accepted that I had done something wrong by not speaking to her first about spending the extra money and committed to not repeating it again.

The commitment I made to Ashley and myself helped me to not repeat this mistake again. – Marcus

Now, go the extra mile

You love you spouse, so why not go the extra mile for him/her?

There are many ways to say sorry, some work great for women, and while some work great for men.

Below are some great ways to also say sorry to your spouse.

We have used them in our marriage, and believe they will also help you in your marriage.

4 Additional ways to apologize to your wife

‚ÄĘ Give her a passionate hug after sincerely admitting you are sorry.

‚ÄĘ Buy her favorite flowers for her or if she is pregnant a pregnancy gift. AND add a note saying, “I’m sorry” to it.

‚ÄĘ Help her with the house chores like washing the dishes when your favorite show is on.

‚ÄĘ Learn how she feels, say you are sorry and mean it.

4 Additional ways to apologize to your husband

‚ÄĘ Cook his favorite meal, and surprise him at launch time. The way to a man’s heart is through his mouth! (At least in our case)

‚ÄĘ Show him you respect and appreciate him.

‚ÄĘ Give him a passionate hug. Works like magic for men too.

‚ÄĘ Learn how he feels. Say you are sorry and mean it.

Would you become a weaker spouse for saying sorry?

Being wrong, feeling embarrassed, admitting you are wrong and saying sorry does not mean you are a weak spouse.  

Or your world is coming to an end.

It means:

You are mature enough to admit your own mistakes, apologize for them wholeheartedly, and commit to not making the same mistakes again.

The best thing you can do is to learn how to say sorry to your spouse in a sincere way. And committing to not repeating the same mistake again.

Final thoughts

As you just read, saying sorry is a sincere and genuine way for apologizing and working to become a better wife or husband.

So the next time you want to apologize to your spouse, just follow the seven steps you have learned today.

Your turn

What are some of the ways you use to say sorry to your wife or husband?

Image courtesy Bykst

PS: Want to have deep, engaging, and meaningful conversations with your spouse? Read this book today.

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