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Questions for couples conversation starters

Are you looking for fun, meaningful and engaging questions for couples to ask each other?

Well, today, you will discover 69+ thought-provoking questions that will enhance and improve your relationship.

To have better conversations you need good questions. And as you already know, coming up with insightful, deep, and engaging questions to discuss as a couple can be difficult.

That’s why we want to share these 69 thought-provoking conversation starters for couples with you. So you can strengthen and enhance intimacy in your relationship.

The questions cover relationship topics such as love, sex, money, communication, emotions, personality, dreams, intimacy, and so much more! Also, we’ve included 3 fun questions for couples games for you to try.

Note: These questions were taken from our best-selling book: Questions for Couples: 469 Thought-Provoking Conversation Starters for Connecting, Building Trust, and Rekindling Intimacy

69 Thought-provoking, sex, and romantic questions for couples

1. How do you feel most connected in our friendship?

How can we strengthen our friendship?

2. When do you feel emotionally connected to me?

3. What makes you uncomfortable when talking about sex?

4. What circumstances are you okay with going into debt for?

How do you feel about paying off debt?

Should we draw up a budget?

Should we create a plan for paying off our debt?

5. Tell me about a challenge you’ve had in your life.

What are you grateful for from experiencing that hardship, and what did you learn?

6. How would you like to start your ideal morning?

7. Have you ever felt rejected by me?

When did it happen? 

What did I do or say that made you feel rejected?

8. Have you ever resented me?

What was it for?

Is there something from your past that I have used against you before, perhaps unintentionally? What was it?

9. What have you been interested in or learning about lately?

10. What is one place you would like us to have sex but we have not yet?

11. In your opinion, what is the one thing we have argued about the most in the past ninety days?

What do you think is the root cause, and how can we resolve it?

12. When you talk about me with someone, do you have positive, negative, or neutral things to say?

What kind of feelings do you get when you think or talk about me?

13. Do you feel I am there for you when you need me?

What can I do to show you I am there for you?

14. What is your favorite memory of our wedding day?

What about our wedding night?

15. When do you feel respected by me?

When do you feel disrespected by me?

16. Which married couple do you look up to the most, and why?

17. How do you feel after we have sex?

What would you like to do right after sex?

Do you ever feel dirty or ashamed after we have sex?

18. What is one thing you discovered about me after we got married that you love?

What is one thing that you discovered about me after we got married that you dislike?

19. What is something I do that makes you feel loved the most?

What is something I do that makes you feel unloved?

20. How would you describe our relationship in three words?

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21. What is better than amazing sex?

22. What is a question about life that you wish you had the answer to?

23. What were the highest points of your life?

What did you learn through those times?

24. What were the highest and lowest points of our relationship?

What did you learn through those times?

25. What is your first memory of me? Describe it in as much detail as you can remember.

26. How can we make our relationship affair-proof?

27. Do you find it difficult trusting me completely?

What is something I do now, or could do in the future, that makes you not trust me?

How can we build trust with each other?

28. How can we communicate better?

29. What does your ideal career look like?

30. Do you feel safe sexually with me?

31. What does your ideal life look like? Give details.

32. What do you want the atmosphere in our home to feel like?

33. What does the perfect relationship look like to you?

What is our relationship missing to be that perfect?

34. Have you ever saved someone’s life?

Has anyone ever saved your life?

35. What person (or people) had the most impact on your life, and how?

36. What do you do to get yourself in a better mood when you are not feeling great?

37. What book has influenced your life the most?

38. What would you do if I changed my religious beliefs?

39. What do you need to be in the mood for sex?

40. How do you feel about supporting family members financially?

What if one or more of your parents needed to be taken care of? Would they live with you?

What if it was a sibling that needed the full-time caregiver?

41. What makes you attracted to me – physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually?

42. How do you feel about lending money to family members?

How much?

What if we do loan them money and they do not pay it back?

What about loaning money to friends?

43. What brings you the most joy in our relationship?

44. What are you dreading in life right now?

45. What is something you have struggled with your entire life?

Does anyone know about it?

Why do you think you struggle with it?

Have you overcome it? If so, how did you overcome it?

46. What are the most important skills you learned from your parents?

47. What are three physical shows of affection you really enjoy from me and you wish I would do more often?

48. What turns you on sexually?

What turns you off sexually?

49. If you had to be on life support, would you want to continue to be kept alive?

What if you had no brain activity?

What if you were paralyzed?

What if you needed life support machines to remain alive for the rest of your life?

What if you were in a coma?

50. How do you feel the most connected to me intellectually?

What is one thing we can do this week to deepen that intimacy?

51. How do you feel the most spiritually connected with me?

What is one thing we can do this week to deepen that connection?

52. How do you feel the closest connection with me in these roles:

As an individual

Partner or spouse


What is one way we can improve our relationship connection in these areas this week?

53. What are the top five things you appreciate about me?

54. What sex acts do you find off-limits or consider gross?

55. What are some ways you like to socially interact with me?

56. Do you feel like you are getting enough time to spend with your friends and family? If no, what can we do to increase it without negatively impacting our relationship?

57. Do you feel stressed when dealing with financial issues? How do you deal with that stress?

What is one worry you have had about our money and finances in the past thirty days?

How can I help you to overcome this frustration or stress?

How should we prepare for a financial emergency?

58. Where are the spots that drive you crazy in a good way during sex?

Where are the places that drive you crazy in a bad way during sex?

Which part of your body would you like me to pay more attention to during sex?

59. How do you feel the most connected physically to me?

How do you want to be touched non-sexually?

What is one way I can make an effort this week to enhance that physical connection between us?

60. Do you have trouble opening up and talking to me about anything?

Do you find it difficult feeling intimate with me in any form?

Are you worried about being hurt?

Are there any secrets you have kept from me?

Is there any subject that you feel is too personal to talk to me about?

What is something about you that you feel I don’t need to know? Why?

What makes you not want to talk to me?

61. Do you feel unworthy of love?

62. What is something different you want to try in the bedroom?

63. Are you afraid of being controlled by me?

64. What makes you feel heard and understood when we communicate?

What distracts you from giving your undivided attention to me?

When do you feel you have my full attention?

Describe what “giving my full attention” to you means.

65. Do you empathetically listen to me to try and see where I am coming from when we disagree?

What communication style will help you to better understand me?

66. What are five things you love about me?

67. How often would you like to have sex each week as a minimum?

How often would you like to have sex each week as a maximum?

68. Can you think of a time you lost your patience with me?

What was the trigger?

How can you do better next time?

69. How do your parents communicate?

What do you like about how they communicate?

What don’t you like about it?

How do you communicate like them?

How do you communicate differently from them?

Even better, discover 400 more questions for couples

Get your copy of our best-selling Questions for Couples book  to discover more thought-provoking conversation starters for couples.

Perfect opportunities to go over these fun questions for couples is during date nights, hikes, game night, long road trips, dinner, bonfires, or whenever you are in the mood for a good convo.


The pocket-sized Paperback version also makes a great gift for newlyweds, dating, engaged, married, new and older couples, for their engagement parties, weddings, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, paper anniversary, or your relationship anniversary.

Click here to get your copy now.

Great relationship questions bring couples together

Engaging conversation starters will help you get to know each other on a deeper level, enhance intimacy, and encourage personal growth, so you can grow together as a couple.

In addition, each question will provide you with great conversation starters that will really get you thinking, bring back great memories, create new ones, and get you talking to each other for hours.

You see, whenever you have a great conversation with your husband or wife, you will bond in unique ways that build trust and strengthen your intimacy.

3 Fun questions for couples game to play together

Below are three simple, yet fun questions game for couples.

⇒ Random Questions for Couples Game 1

Use a random number generator to pick which random question to answer.

Then take turns answering that question.

⇒ Random Questions for Couples Game 2

Write the number for each question on a small piece of paper, then put your written numbers into a bowl.

If you picked the number, you will ask the question, and your spouse will be the first to answer. And vice versa.

⇒ Couples Question Game 3 (Even or Odd Number)

One person can answer all the questions with an odd number, while the other person answers all the questions with an even number.

For more couples games to play together, click here to discover the best board, card, and dice games for couples.

Also, check out this article:

101+ Fun Things for Couples to Do Together

conversation starters for couples

Our list of 20 fun questions for couples PDF

If you would rather prefer a smaller list of couples questions, click here to download our list of 20 fun questions for couples in PDF format.

Save it to your phone or computer.

Print and use it whenever you want good conversation starters to start a conversation.

5 Tips for using conversation starters for couples at home

Although the 5 conversation starter tips below are specific to home use, you can easily apply tip numbers 2, 3, 4, and 5 whenever you have a conversation with each other.

1. Set aside time to go through each question together.

You can also have a verbal commitment to ask each other one question a day, or mark specific dates on your calendar as your “relationship questions day.”

2. Be present.

Give each other your undivided attention. Get rid of distractions like phones, computers, iPads, TV, etc.

3. Listen attentively.

Listen well to each question as your wife, husband, significant other, or partner shares their answer to the question.

It will also help you to be fully engaged, so you can have an intimate conversation, experience a deeper connection and intellectual intimacy.

4. Provide feedback.

Comment on each other’s answers, and ask deeper questions when needed.

From our experience, giving each other feedback has helped us to use these conversation starters for couples to build intimacy in our marriage.

5. Be truthful. 

When it’s your turn to answer a question, answer with honesty.

You don’t have any reason to lie.

Being honest with each other will help build trust, strengthen and enhance intimacy in your relationship.

6 Bonus conversation starters for couples

1. What is one event in life that taught you so much about the opposite sex?

2. What song or movie always makes you cry?

3. When was the last time you felt left out as a kid? Adult?

4. What is your reason for waking up every morning?

5. What is happiness to you?

6. If you have kids: Do you ever feel displaced in our relationship?

Final thoughts

The good news is that these fun questions for couples don’t revolve around your day to day life, such as the to-do-list or your children’s activities.

Discussing the questions with your spouse or partner will certainly help you both open up more and get to know each other more intimately. It will also make time go by faster.

So pick the top 5 interesting conversation starters you love, and discuss them with your partner, spouse, husband, or wife this weekend.

Even if you are not yet married, you can still use these deep relationship questions with your significant other, boyfriend or girlfriend.

Also, couples in long-distance relationships can use these interesting conversation starters to get to know each other better.

Your turn

Which of these engaging and fun questions for couples will you use as a conversation starter for your next date night, road trip, a hiking trip, staycation, game night, or dinner?

You might also like:

101+ Fun Things for Couples to Do Together

How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting in 7 Simple Steps

Best 94 Board, Card, and Dice Games for Couples to Play Together

How to Reconnect With Your Spouse Emotionally, Sexually, Spiritually, and Intellectually

115 Fun Bucket List Ideas for Couples

P.S. Discover 400 more thought-provoking questions for couples by getting this questions for couples book today.

Image via Mathew Henry and Tero Vesalainen

Questions for Couples: 69 Thought-Provoking Conversation Starters for Your Relationship (3 Fun Questions Game Included)