Most couples will probably spend more money and time preparing for their wedding day than actually preparing for their marriage.
We believe if you spent half of the time spent on preparing for your wedding day that most spend on preparing for their marriage, you will be well prepared to build a lasting marriage.
That’s why we wrote this First Year of Marriage book to help newlyweds and engaged couples build a strong foundation for their marriage.
Failure to adequately prepare for marriage could lead to an unhappy marriage or an early divorce.
So, spend the time preparing for your marriage
It’s the best thing you can do for your marriage. At the very least, you will learn:
⇒ About communication in marriage and how to communicate with your spouse.
⇒ How to clarify your marriage expectations.
⇒ How to resolve conflicts, arguments, and compromise with your spouse.
⇒ How to assess your differences on various issues like sex, finances, parenting, politics, etc.
⇒ How to set marriage and family goals.
⇒ How to prepare for the marriage challenges that lay ahead; as soon as possible.
And other great things that have helped many couples to have lasting marriages.
If you have a healthy and happy marriage, your children will benefit immensely from it. Your marriage plays a big impact on your parenting. And children learn a lot from their parents.
10 Preparation tips for engaged couples and newlyweds.
When couples who are about to get married, or are newly married ask us for advice towards preparation for your marriage, below are the 10 preparation tips we tell them.
1) Marriage is hard work, but it is worth it.
You may not be able to see any problems in your future. But the hard times will come.
It could even start with something as simple as changing your name after marriage.
However, you must stick together, and figure out how to work through these times.
2) You will have a lot of personal growth to go through.
Look inward before pointing the finger.
3) Your spouse may not understand what you think is common knowledge. They can’t read your mind!
Learning how to communicate is key for a healthy, happy, and lasting marriage!
4) You are going to have to be on the same page with everything from finances to raising children to sex.
Might as well start these conversations now!
5) You will both evolve as a person in your opinions, and beliefs.
So keep the conversation going and share the experience together so you won’t grow apart.
6) Remember, your spouse has the best intentions for you.
7) Don’t forget to keep an open mind and be flexible.
8) Learn each other’s love language, and then learn to speak it.
9) Make your relationship the priority. If both spouses put each other first, it’s a win-win.
Keep safe boundaries as a hedge around it from people and activities that could harm your marriage.
10) Build your friendship, dream and have fun together. Your spouse should be your best friend.
The longer you are married, the deeper that friendship should grow.
One of our loyal readers, Chris’s advice for couples preparing for marriage is this:
“It is important to always try to look at things from both sides. Compromise is key, and never be afraid to apologize.”
These 10 things are a great way to open your mind to the changes, adjustments, and challenges that will occur in your marriage.
Invest time, money, or other resources in preparing for marriage to increase your chances of having a lasting marriage.
We encourage you to visit this first year of marriage tips page. It’s the best resource we have for engaged couples and newlyweds.
What we did in preparation for our marriage
Before we got married, we had a pre-marriage conversation with a great married couple whose marriage we admired.
We also bought this workbook, Before You Say “I Do” by H Norman Wright and did all the sessions together.
These two books helped us to prepare for marriage in many areas. Some of the areas include communication, setting marriage goals, deciding on the kind of things we needed as a family, revealing our financial history, debt, past family issues, and discussing everything.
Yes, we mean everything.
As a result, we always recommend engaged and married couples to read some of the best marriage books that have impacted many marriages.
Although these are the main things we did while preparing for marriage, we highly recommend you go a step further than us when preparing for your marriage.
Taking a marriage prep class or marriage preparation course online will definitely be a big plus for you.
Ideas on how to prepare for marriage
Knowing how to prepare for marriage is completely different from preparing for a wedding.
If you plan for vacations, a date night, sporting events, etc. why not plan for your marriage?
The good news is that there are many resources that can help you.
For the cost of a wedding cake or usually much less, you and your future spouse could become well prepared for marriage.
Simply read a premarital counseling book, or take a marriage prep class to prepare for your marriage.
Plan for your marriage more than your wedding day, trust us, you will not regret it.
So how do you prepare for marriage?
Below are six ideas on how to prepare for marriage:
1. Schedule a date and time to have a pre-marriage conversation with one or two married couples you admire, and seek their best advice.
2. Find pre-marital counseling books that you both like and go through all the sections with your future spouse.
3. Attend a pre-marriage seminar, conference, or workshop.
4. You can schedule a pre-marriage counseling session with a pastor or a pre-marriage coaching session with a marriage coach.
5. You can take a marriage preparation course online at your own pace and in the comfort of your home.
6. Check your local community for marriage prep classes too.
“Failing to plan, is planning to fail.” Benjamin Franklin
Lastly, check out these newlywed books we highly recommend for your marriage preparation.
Remember to respect and love your spouse.
There is no need to let past mistakes hang over your heads. So bring them up during your preparation for marriage. Even when disagreeing, you can learn to be respectful.
Apply the golden rule and treat your spouse how you want to be treated. Be respectful in the way you speak to, and about your him/her. Be respectful about what you share of your relationship.
There is always something new to learn, something to improve, and somewhere to grow; so be on the lookout. Continue to grow as a person both independently, and together as a couple.
After you say “I do”, you become a unit, but you are also unique individuals. Take personal responsibility for your actions, feelings, and let your spouse do the same. Be supportive but don’t enable bad behaviors or attitudes.
Simply do your best to prepare well for your marriage.
What did you do to prepare for marriage?
What advice will you give to couples preparing for marriage?
Do you agree that preparation for marriage should be something all couples must do before getting married?
P.S. Want to build a strong foundation for your marriage? Read this book today.