If you do not consciously know or have a vision of what you want for your marriage and family, you will find it difficult to build the marriage and family you ultimately desire..
By knowing the kind of life, marriage, and family you want to have, you will be able to make a good decision as to the vision you want for your marriage and family.
Our marriage vision
One of the fun conversations we had both before, and after our wedding, was choosing the type of family life we wanted to create.
We talked about what we each wanted the atmosphere at home to be like, how involved we wanted to be in the different areas of our life, and for each other to be.
By having that conversation, we were able to come up with a vision for our marriage and family; an ever-evolving, learning as we go, the overall theme for our family.
Our marriage vision statement
To have a peaceful marriage, a peaceful family, and a peaceful home.
We wanted a peaceful home, as stress-free as we could make it, that was also unified, warm and inviting. Since then, we had to begin the hard work of creating a peaceful life, marriage, family, and home we desired.
It did not just happen. We had to work hard, and stay committed to making it a reality.
Once we knew we had succeeded in making our marriage vision a reality, all we do now is to maintain and improve it as we grow together.
Below are the steps we took to make our marriage vision statement a reality.
These are the steps we took, but you can apply them in creating a vision for your marriage too.
1) The first thing we had to do was to work on ourselves!
What is a marriage without communication and friendship?
Definitely not the peaceful one we had in mind! We had to be mindful in choosing the tone in which we spoke to each other, as well as the words we use.
It’s so hard to take back hurtful things once said. So we chose to not get over emotional and say something we would regret.
2) We had to work on keeping our marriage the number one priority.
We had to learn to work together as a team.
We grew closer together by having this common goal for our life and marriage.
We always put in the effort to make our marriage the best it can be, and never stop learning or growing in this aspect of our life.
3) We had to create limits and boundaries.
Together we agreed on certain things, e.g. not having deeply emotional relationship with another person, thereby putting ourselves at risk for emotional cheating.
Prevention is better than cure, right?
We also agreed on what was appropriate as far as visitors, family, or anything that came up. This was hard at first, but it got easier with time.
4) We had to be on the same page with our finances.
Money fights are the number one cause of divorce.
So you can see why our decision to agree on spending money was so integral to living our marriage vision.
5) Raising great children.
We had our ideas of what we would be like as parents and how we would do things. Then our daughter was born, and everything changed.
We had to find the best way to work together, continue educating ourselves, and communicating through this parenting adventure.
Check out some of the parenting lessons we learned, and now share with first-time parents.
6) Eating healthy food and exercising. We want to be as active and healthy as we can because we believe this creates inner peace, feel great, and improve our lifestyle.
Those are some of the things we did to make our vision a reality.
It will vary for you since we are all unique individuals but the steps below can help you to create a vision for your marriage.
5 easy steps to creating a vision for your marriage.
1. Discuss it with your spouse, share each other’s vision of your marriage, and come to an agreement. See what your dreams have in common.
You might be using different words for the same thing because we all communicate differently.
2. Write your marriage vision statement based on your agreement above and memorize it.
3. Figure out what you both need to work on and the skills that you need to develop in every aspect of your lives to make your marriage vision a reality.
4. Put those skills into action throughout your daily life.
5. Assess your progress during your regular marriage checkups and see if you have made progress.
If no progress has been made, find out what went wrong, and revisit steps 3 and 4 above. Attack the problem, not the person.
By having regular marriage check-ups at least once every quarter, we are able to ensure we are living our marriage vision.
As we all know, every part of our lives is intertwined. Therefore, each aspect of your life must be considered when creating a vision for your marriage.
What is your vision statement for your marriage?