Helping married couples, especially newlyweds, to create a peaceful marriage, home and family is what inspired us to create this website.
From our experience, living in a stress-free home environment, where everyone is free to express themselves with respect is amazing.
That’s why we wrote this post about why it was so important for each of us to have a peaceful marriage, home, and family. It’s also another reason why we chose a peaceful family as our family theme.
Is it possible to create a peaceful home environment for your marriage in today’s world?
With all the business and stress these days it can be hard to imagine peace. If you came from a traumatic background or had a lousy childhood that was anything but peaceful, it can seem like a pipe dream.
But we beg to differ because we have a peaceful marriage and home despite our pasts, and the climate we live in. Our tips will definitely help you create the peaceful home environment you and your spouse desire.
Your past doesn’t determine your future, you do!
11 Tips for creating a peaceful home environment for your marriage
The basic tips below will get you started on how to create a peaceful home for your marriage.
1. Agree on this goal (having a peaceful home) with your spouse.
Discuss and understand what their idea of a peaceful family or peaceful home means for both of you.
You can’t do it alone, you’re both in the house and you set the temperature of your house together. You both have to be on board.
2. Eliminate any unnecessary activities, relationships, arguments, and anything that could be adding unwanted stress in your life.
Part of the new plan you have to implement is getting purging unneeded stress.
Whether that means only signing the kids up for one activity rather than three, limiting time spent with extended family, or friends who take more than they give, and picking which battles need to be fought with your kids, spouse, and everyone else.
A great book to read to help with this is Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud.
3. Add things in your life that promote peace.
Of course, self-care is going to be the first thing we mention. Take time for Y.O.U.
Do something you enjoy, relax, read, hike, or whatever fills your cup.
If you have kids, you may know they feed off your energy. Calm mama equals calmer kids (unless its a full moon or mercury retrograde-though it will still help).
Learn. Grow your knowledge about all things mind and body related, relationally with your spouse and children. Being a better you will have a trickle effect.
Make new friendships, or make time to maintain healthy friendships with people you can look up to and learn from.
Carve out time for the two of you to have deeper conversations and learn about each other. One way we do this is to use our Questions for Couples book when we want to have a conversation and don’t know where to start.
4. Get your finances in order.
Talking about money with your spouse, creating a monthly budget, and getting out of debt can help relieve so much stress!
Check out The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi.
Both books will show you proven step-by-step strategies you can use to get out of debt, build wealth, and budget right.
5. Become active together, exercise, eat healthy foods, and drink plenty of water.
This will help you and your spouse to FEEL better. Food is medicine.
By taking care of our bodies, we get more energy, less pain, and improve our quality of life.
6. Be intentional with your relationships.
Your marriage comes first, spend time and connect with each other and your kids; children spell love T-I-M-E.
Do something like playing a game, going to a hands-on science center, cooking, playing a sport, etc. Or anything that gets you focused on each other while having fun.
As humans, we seek community and connection. We need to make sure that those closest to us are building us up, rather than bringing us down to their level.
Re-evaluate friendships and family members, maybe it’s time to distance yourselves from some, and grow closer to others.
The books Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings by Dr. Laura Markham, No-Drama Discipline, and The Whole Brained Child by Daniel J. Siegal and Payne Bryson have made a huge impact in the way we parent peacefully.
These books helped us have a calmer home life because they gave us tools and insight into what is going on behind the scenes with our children, resulting in more empathy on our parts which in turn trickles down to them.
7. Peace at home requires setting up the right atmosphere.
That’s right, decorate! Choose items and themes that make you feel:
» And cozy.
8. Organize your home to prevent clutter.
Kids don’t make this easy at all but being organized has awesome benefits. Involve the kids if their old enough. Get rid of unneeded items. As Marie Kondo says, “Does this bring me joy?”
The first overhaul will be the biggest challenge, and then you can implement a plan to keep it on track. Twice a year we usually do a deep clean (spring cleaning) and we try to go through the kids’ toys every few months and bring some to goodwill.
Don’t obsess over a sparkling clean home, because that will add stress. Find a system that works for you.
We have a room designated as a playroom with their art supplies and toys. The rule is, toys stay in there.
Our kids pick up this playroom every night before bed (mostly) as we’ve discovered they get along better in an orderly environment.
9. Organize your calendar.
How many playdates, girls/boys night out, dinners with others, events, and classes do you ideally want going on in one week/month?
That’s where a huge part of maintaining a peaceful environment happens, the calendar!
Schedule, but don’t over-schedule yourself. And make time for down days where you can recover from the busyness.
10. Plan your meals.
Meal planning has helped take the stress from “what’s for dinner?” every night.
We do it monthly and worked together to come up with a list of staples the family loves while also making space to try new things to keep it fresh. Involving everyone in the family ensures success.
Get this weekly meal planner to plan your meals.
11. Set rules for your home.
Not to be rigid, but do set boundaries that keep everyone safe and happy. Most of these will be common sense, but a few you could consider are:
Apologize when you make mistakes. Adult to adult, kid to kid, and adult to kids. It shows them we all make mistakes and no one is perfect while modeling the appropriate behavior when we mess up.
Remember, the relationship is more important than anything else. So try to respond rather than react.
Empathy. Connect with your children before you redirect. Let them know you’re on their side and care about their big feelings before you try to talk about a solution.
Though these examples are targeted towards our attitude to children, it is the same if it’s just your spouse and you.
Just set your principles or standards and stick to them, while being flexible with the minor and unimportant things.
[How strong is your marriage? Take the quiz.]
Make it a priority
Creating a peaceful home environment doesn’t depend on you alone. As such you and your spouse have to make it a priority.
From our experience, It’s best to have your spouse in agreement with you. Then commit to achieving this goal by a specific date. Make it a priority and be very intentional about achieving this goal.
And to successfully do that, you both have to be on the same page or you will simply be working against each other.
In other words, you won’t be able to achieve the peaceful home environment you both want for your marriage.
Starting today, implement these tips to create a peaceful home environment for your marriage and family.
You can’t have a happy and peaceful marriage without a peaceful home environment.
Peace in your marriage can be achieved by creating a peaceful home environment for your marriage and family.
Create yours, build it, then share your story. Let’s build peaceful homes and impact the world by living a happy and peaceful life.
How can you achieve a peaceful home or peaceful environment for your family?
What tips can you add to the list above?
Image courtesy Jennifer Bailey