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Is she the oneAre they the one for me? How do you know?

We all get to answer this question once we are engaged or plan to be in a serious relationship.

But how do you know if he or she is the one for you?

Hopefully, by having our two responses and approaches, you will be in a better position to make a great decision.

Below is Marcus’s response for “Is she the one for me.”

If you are interested in Ashley’s response on “how to know if he is the one” click here.

Is she the one for me?

 Of course, she is the one! And I am going to share with you the method I used to make that decision.

Determining if she is the one for you is not easy. But having a checklist, criteria, or simple method to use is very critical in choosing the right person to marry. (Can you tell I have a type-A personality?)

Since marrying the right person will play a big impact on your future life, it’s best to invest some time before you make the decision to spend the rest of your life with her.

We have been happily married for almost a decade.

It hasn’t been all hunky-dory like you see in the movies. Our life is real, just like yours. And you can read more about us here.

We have had our ups and downs, with plenty of highs and lows. Life gave us some lemons we never expected but we made lemonade out of them.

I would not trade a single thing about my relationship with my wife to be with another woman!

So how did you know she was the one?

Well, I had my “Is she the one” checklist or criteria.

It consisted of qualities and character traits I wanted and did not want in my future spouse; divided into three categories plus some important questions.

These are the 3 categories I made for my “Is she the one” checklist:

A. The must-have qualities. I call these the no-brainer qualities. (Important qualities or character traits the I want to see in my future spouse).

If she did not have any of these, then she was not the one for me to marry. These qualities were very realistic. e.g Honest, faithfulness, hardworking, trustworthy, accept who I am, etc. and of course we needed physical attraction and chemistry.

B. The must NOT have qualities. I refer to these as knock-out punches.

The Qualities or character traits, and other stuff I could not enjoy spending the rest of my life living with someone who had any one of them. Some of these items included a smoker, someone who got drunk often, a lazy person, someone who was not humble, someone who was disrespectful to me or my loved ones.

C. My wish list. I call these the icing on the cake.

For example, more specific physical qualities like: has long hair, athletic-looking, beautiful, etc.

Below are more examples of what I had written on my checklist to let me know she was the one for me to marry.

No brainer qualities

Just a to name a few: Faithful, humble, respectful, trustworthy, hardworking, economical, loving, caring, homemaker, creative, appreciate and love me as I am, understanding.

Icing on the cake list

Great sense of humor, younger than me, enjoys entertainment, loves the indoors, loves sports specifically soccer, etc.

Knockout punches

Extravagant, we don’t have similar interests, she dislikes my family, she smokes, etc

After going through my checklist, which is basically the first filter, I also asked myself these extremely important questions that were on my “Is she the one” checklist.

1. Are we compatible spiritually?

2. Is she ready to spend the rest of her life with me?

3. Can I spend the rest of my life with her, and be successful in all areas of my life?

4. Does she build me up or put me down, especially in front of others?

5. Can I rely on her as a helper? 

6. Is she the one for me call my Mrs.? Does that thought scare me?

My answers to these questions enabled me to answer the question, “Is she the one?”

This “Is she the one” checklist can be implemented by anyone but please do not take it as the 100% proof method for choosing someone to marry.

I wrote this post to serve as a guide for anyone interested in learning from my “Is she the one?” checklist. The checklist above, tweaked to your own discretion could reveal signs she is the right one for you.

In addition, you can learn some tips from Ashley’s response to the question “Is he the one?”

Your turn:

How did you determine if she is the one for you?

What signs did you look for?

Image courtesy of Timeless Photography/