Do you have any forbidden words in your marriage? Early on our marriage, the first couple months, we had a very important discussion about divorce. It’s amazing how much a relationship can change after we say the words, “I do”.
It seemed like all my insecurities came out, and we addressed them head on. My hubby would say something and I would take it the wrong way.
As we worked through these issues, we sat down and discussed how we never wanted to use our forbidden words, especially the dreaded “D” word in any argument, disagreement, or what have you.
The word divorce incites a few things; that you view this marriage as a temporary (when it gets too hard, leave) sort of relationship, that you are not in it whole heartedly, and questions the trust in the marriage.
Divorce is just one of the forbidden words for a marriage where the couple have decided to be together forever.
Marriage should be forever if two people are willing to work at it, and keep their marriage a PRIORITY; they should be committed to the marriage.
Using the word “divorce” or saying things like “I’m just gonna leave one of these days”, ” maybe I’ll find someone who appreciates me more,” can injure the trust in any marriage and deeply hurt your spouse.
Lets go on a small tangent here, and l will explain our belief on divorce and marriage.
We both agreed we wouldn’t stay in a relationship where we were not happy and growing, where there is cheating, lies, drugs, alcohol/ physical/ emotional/ verbal/ sexual abuse. Due to my family history, I am actually pro divorce for these reasons.
Let me clarify, relationships go through all sorts of ups and downs, I am not saying if you are in a “down” to end it; that is definitely not one of the reasons for divorce. I mean, do everything in your power to work on, enhance, prioritize, and enjoy your marriage. How?
Well that’s what our blog is all about, giving you ideas on what works for us! If your marriage is not a priority, it will not be a great one. How do we do this? We sacrifice our own self-desires, are committed to each other, believe in our faith, work on our finances, and communicate a lot!
You BOTH give and take, it’s not 50/50 its 100/100.
Another way to look at it is if any of your children come along and they hear mom and dad use this forbidden word in an argument (out of habit), it disrupts their whole foundation as they realize the one stable and constant (parental unit) in their life, could fracture.
I’m not saying that parents must be perfect all the time for their children, as we know this is impossible, but stability is such an integral part for any child’s foundation.
There is no place in our marriage, or any marriage, for threats of leaving, finding another, divorce, or belittling and name calling. This is about respecting each other, loving each other maybe even when you don’t “like” each other at the moment.
What are the forbidden words in your marriage? Do you even have any forbidden words in your life or marriage? -Ashley