In this blog post, Sophie Slim shares her First Year Marriage story in a blog style interview.
Sophie has been married for six years, lives in New Zealand, and is a stay-at-home mom to two wonderful kids.
We sent her questions Marcus asks our guests on the podcast and below were her answers.
1. Can you tell us how you met your spouse and when you decided to get married?
I went along with a friend of mine to a youth church that my future husband was running. He introduced himself to me afterwards, and teased me for having an american accent (my best friend was american and I often accidentally spoke like her).
Months later, we got to see each other again as my best friend was moving back to her home country (USA).
After a night of talking and getting to know each other at one of her leaving events, he walked me to my car and when I turned on the ignition my Michael Jackson CD bleared.
We spent another hour dancing on the street in the dark and he knew all the good MJ dance moves. My heart was smitten, and we started dating a month later after many coffee dates and time spent getting to know each other first.
2. How will you describe your first year of marriage in one or two words?
3. What adjustments did you have to make in your first year of marriage?
Our whole lives had to change! It was my first time living out of home, so I had to learn things like how to cook and clean which was a shock to the system!
We moved in together for the first time once we were married, we then joined our bank accounts together and had to start living as if we knew what we were doing in life. Really, we had to learn everything from scratch.
4. What are some of the struggles or hard moments you had in your first year, and how did you resolved them.
Our first year was mostly a hectic blur. We were too busy adjusting to life to clash and were very much in a honeymoon period. Hard moments were rare or not addressed at the time.
But inevitably the struggles would come around again in the future and would be resolved then.
We found comfort in starting a connect group for other young married couples in our church. We met each fortnight in our home with 4 other couples the same age and stage as us.
We did either a relationship or a bible study together, and it was so valuable to build relationships with peers who understood what was going on and we found support and friendships there.
5. Share some of the funniest or exciting moments you had in your first year of marriage.
A few days after we returned from our honeymoon there was a big event in our city and a band had come to play at it. We knew the band and they came to crash at our new apartment. 8 smelly men camped out in our lounge with all their music gear!
At lunch time they looked at me with hungry eyes, and I realized that I would need to feed them. Me. Who had only just moved out of home and was illiterate in the kitchen. I looked up a cook book and thought I’d try make two lasagnes to feed 13 people.
Long story short, I read the recipe wrong and ended up baking the minced beef all on its own. I realized after it came of the oven so I dumped a jar of pasta sauce on top, with some uncooked pasta sheets, mixed it around and served it up.
The boys were too polite to say anything, and I fought back tears alone in the kitchen, vowing to do better next time. I was new at it, after all.
6. Which book, resource, or programs have impacted your marriage the most? How did it make a difference in your marriage?
In our connect group we have studied His Needs, Her Needs which we found so practical and helpful. We also enjoyed the video sermon series Peasant Princess by Mark Driscoll on the bible book Song of Songs.
Also, Hot Tips for Marriage by a New Zealand couple Ian and Mary Grant was great (it comes as a DVD or a book)!
7. If you have been married for over 10 years, can you share with us some of the activities you do to grow together, so you do not grow apart?
Six years and counting! We’ve started saving a little each week so we can go on an overseas vacation for our 10 year anniversary!
8. What is one lesson or advice you wish you had known before you got married?
I wish we had been given practical financial advice, on how to budget much earlier and be on top of our finances while we still had two jobs. Also, the sex gets way better! Practice practice! 😉
9. How best can our readers and myself can connect with you online or offline? Do you have any exciting projects you want to share with us?
If you have any questions for Sophie please ask in the comments section below.
Thank you for reading Sophie’s story.