page contents

trust in marriageTrust in marriage is extremely vital for your marriage to thrive. Trust is also the most important thing that makes pursuing any relationship worthwhile.

Without trust, a healthy marriage or relationship can not exist.

Can your marriage survive without trust? 

Is it even possible to have a great marriage without the complete trust of your wife or husband?

Trusting your spouse is key to a happy, lasting, and healthy marriage!

Without complete trust, it’s impossible for married couples to have a “real” marriage or relationship. By “real” relationship, we mean a healthy one.

Most trust issues in marriages are caused by extra-marital sex, lying, cheating, emotional affairs, constant contact with an ex etc.

The lack of trust and presence of trust issues in marriage certainly plays a big role in many unhappy and unhealthy marriages. 

Some of the consequences of trust issues such as infidelity can result in lifelong effects on your kids, spouse, and family.

Building complete trust in your marriage should be a top priority!

Why is trust in marriage so important?

No trust in marriage means your marriage could end in a divorce very quickly. It could also result in separation, and breeds insecurity.

Being able to trust your husband or wife completely provides you with comfort. The freedom to express yourself makes you feel secure, and create’s a peaceful home environment.

It also reduces stress and worries about your husband or wife cheating on you, or doing things behind your back.

In marriage, we have the opportunity to have the most intimate relationship with another human being; our spouse.

And in order to be so closely connected, we must bare our souls to each other.

Dr. Henry Cloud puts it this way, “Intimacy comes from “knowing” the other person at a deep level. If there are barriers to honesty, knowing is ruled out and the false takes over.” (Boundaries in Marriage).

In order for us to feel safe enough to bare our souls to each other, to be naked not just in a physical, but an emotional way with our spouse, we must be able to trust them.

How trust plays an important role in intimacy.

Again, Dr. Cloud puts it this way, “True intimacy is the closest thing to heaven we can know.

It’s like one of the best perks we can have through our marriage.

Truly knowing someone, having them know you, being truly loved and accepted for who you are, and vice versa is breathtaking.

How to build trust in your marriage.

how to build trust in marriageBuilding trust in marriage does not happen overnight.

It simply takes TIME.

It will require some effort especially if either you or your spouse have trust issues from past relationships or marriage(s).

To make complete trust a reality in your marriage, start by simply being honest with your spouse.

STOP the petty lies. Don’t fudge anything.

And tell your spouse when you overspend on an item in your family budget.

When you have entertained lustful thoughts about another person. When you are hurt by something. When you didn’t do something you said you would, etc. be honest about it with your spouse.

It won’t be easy all the time. But the more you establish trust, the more you will become completely open and connected to your spouse.

Can one little “white lie” really do any harm to your marriage?

Why must I tell my spouse so much? Our answer is simple.

Lies or not telling your spouse the truth because what they don’t know won’t hurt them, erodes the basic foundation of your marriage (trust).

It makes you feel guilty. And makes it difficult to be truly intimate on a deeper level with your spouse.

“Deception damages a relationship. The act of lying is much more damaging than the things that are being lied about because lying undermines the knowing of one another and the connection itself.”

“Deception is the one thing that cannot be worked through because it denies the problem.” -Dr. Henry Cloud.

The second biggest part of building trust in your marriage is communication.

Once you learn how to communicate with your spouse and understand the importance of communication in marriage, it will become easier to approach your spouse. This will help you to build trust with each other.

Communicating brings you together!

It helps you to connect with each other. And makes being honest easier. Simply because you will be talking to your best friend. The person you have decided to commit the rest of your life to. And established an intimate relationship with.

You need to be honest with your spouse!

And your wife or husband needs to be honest with you. Even if it hurts.

Take the first steps to establish trust by communicating to your spouse that you need to be honest with each other from now on.

We had a few incidences in our first year of marriage where complete honesty was not present. We hurt each other in the process unintentionally.

But we worked through this by communicating; explaining that it wasn’t okay. We wouldn’t accept it in our marriage and forgave each other.

Did we mess up again?

Yes!

We are not perfect and never will be.

All we can do is strive to be better every day, learn from our mistakes, and move on.

We messed up again, but we can now say we completely trust each other after implementing the strategies we are sharing today.

By communicating with each other, we came up with a plan that helped us to survive the first year of marriage.

As you know, part of the reasons why we started this blog is to help other married couples to avoid the same mistakes we did. Learn from our mistakes to avoid the pain!

Now keep this statement in mind:

When you completely trust your spouse, the love-making also becomes better. 🙂

How to rebuild trust in marriage.

Although rebuilding trust in marriage is not easy, trust can be rebuilt even after it has been broken. It can also be restored.

Look:

It will take time. And sometimes even years to regain trust in your marriage.

But how do you rebuild and restore trust with your husband or wife?

Well, below are 18 tips you can implement today.

18 Tips to help you regain, restore, or rebuild trust in your marriage.

1. Ask your spouse what you can do to earn back their trust.

2. Promise yourself, and each other that you will be truthful and honest even if it hurts.

3. Share your secrets especially the pains and struggles you go through every day.

4. Learn to fight fair in a healthy way.

5. Stop the lying, it will only make things worse.

6. Be aware of the damages caused, accept your wrong doings and be responsible.

7. Keep your promises.

8. Listen and pay attention to your spouse.

9. Take the blame game away.

10. Give your spouse an opportunity to earn your trust.

11. Trust in marriage is mutual; it takes two to make it happen.

12. Be yourself and be real.

13. Be open to counseling or seeing a marriage coach if need be.

14. Forgive your spouse.

15. Develop a plan of action and execute it.

16. It will take time and patience.

17. Show your spouse you love and appreciate them.

18. Set boundaries in your marriage to prevent a repeat of the same trust issues that caused the trust to be broken.

Marriage workshop for building, rebuilding and restoring trust in marriage.

If you are looking for more ways to rebuild trust in your marriage, check out Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation.

Trust Me! is an online marriage workshop that will help you to build, rebuild, and strengthen trust in your marriage. 

You can even save your marriage and bring back trust by applying what you learn from this marriage workshop.

Click here to access Trust Me! Restore, Renew & Rebuild Your Foundation

If you prefer to read, try reading some of the best marriage books. A great one to read about trust is Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken by Cindy Beall. This book will help you with rebuild trust in your marriage. 

Your spouse has the best intentions for you.

After getting married, the two become one.

Therefore, your trust for each other must be nurtured and protected continually. Never entertain distrust in your marriage. And if you are unwilling to trust your spouse, what are your reasons?

Remember:

It’s very hard to rebuild trust in marriage. Respect the trust your spouse has for you. Never take it for granted.

“A marriage without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it as long as you want but it won’t go anywhere.” Unknown

Your turn:

How do you deal with mistrust issues in your marriage? 

Do you trust your spouse completely?

What are some other ways for rebuilding trust in marriage?

Image courtesy Fotographic1980/FreeDigitalPhotos.net and Tegula

Pin It on Pinterest

Shares
Share This